Today the river officially closed. A deep sigh of relief comes out of me. Not because the river is closed, so that the wild salmon can enter and thrive. No, the sigh is because today I don’t have to feel guilty for not fishing. You know, because I can’t. Brains are such weird things, aren’t they? Seriously. What is the point of guilt? I logically know this, and yet the stack of things I feel guilty about just seems to increase day by day.
Not fishing is like not scratching an itch. You’re hyper aware of it and it drives you crazy. I made a New Year’s resoltuion to myself, and I’m not fulfilling it. Oh…the guilt!
Every day I pass the river and think, “Wouldn’t it be great to be out there?” But, alas, I don’t stop because I’m late for work.
Sometimes I don’t dream of flyfishing. Sometimes I just daydream about a lazy day on the river. Sitting in a boat with layers of warm clothes hugging close to my body keeping me warm. A thermos of hot tomato soup and some cold cheese sandwiches next to me. Maybe a light rain misting my face keeping my skin cool as my core radiates heat from under a layer of thermals.
Hours passing by quietly without any real indicators. The world around me quiet and then loud. Small things catch my attention. A fish surfacing with a small bubble bursting. A beaver building a dam. Squirrels flinging insults at each other from across branches. A small mosquito buzzing by and sending a quick chill down my spine.
How long has it been since you had a day like that? A day where you’re entire body was relaxed, and maybe your brain was a little bored. Used to constant chatter and activity. It may take awhile to unwind, but it would happen eventually. If you let it.